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Through these sites, we found information on local mixers -- discreet get-togethers at bars, where swingers can meet each other and newbies can get their toes wet stop giggling in a chill setting.

The veteran couples we met at these mixers were always welcoming and more than willing to offer us advice on getting started.

And perhaps most importantly, they never pressured us into doing anything we weren't ready for. In fact, we soon realized the scene is all about asking before you initiate any sort of contact with someone.

That was a welcome relief for us, especially after the pressure my wife had previously received from the aforementioned husband.

As we met more and more couples who were understanding and patient, who were happy to stop the moment one of us hesitated, we realized that there are some truly good and decent people in the lifestyle.

And as we got more comfortable, we started being willing to do more. That led us to three years' worth of conversations about how far we were willing to go, what exactly we were looking for within the scene, and above all else, how we were in this together.

We didn't want to end up in a situation where one of us was like, "I'm bored. I'm going out fuck-hunting.

If I get lucky, I'll see you tomorrow, loser! After three years of dabbling in local mixers without ever really hooking up with any other couples , we decided to take the next step: our first big out-of-town event.

In Las Vegas, of course, because duh. This one was going to be a four-day takeover of an entire hotel, with over 1, swingers in attendance.

As we were packing for the trip, we psyched ourselves up for what we were sure would be a massive hour orgy of writhing bodies. We had another long discussion about how far we were willing to go "Let's just go for it all" was our consensus this time , and we showed up with roughly every condom produced that year.

Our fantasies were dashed pretty quickly. The first night, we walked into the venue and saw a bunch of people dressed in the sexiest attire we could imagine think Vegas nightclub, but without any rules about indecent exposure.

Everyone looked smoking hot, but we couldn't for the life of us figure out how to talk to anyone. As we walked around, we noticed that everyone seemed to be hanging out in their own cliques.

We felt pretty awkward, but we soon realized that this is just natural human behavior. People gravitate toward those they already know. And when you throw in the strong likelihood that you're going to be exchanging fluids with them later on in the evening, then of course, you're going to be a bit more discriminating about who you're hanging out with.

After two hours of hapless attempts to make eye contact and smile, we finally met a group who welcomed us into their circle.

But even then, we soon realized that a get-together of swingers doesn't always end in a massive orgy.

Sometimes people just want to catch up. The orgy with this group came the second night seriously, stop giggling.

The first night was mostly flirting. And that's the weird thing that I never expected: how often you end up hanging around, joking and chatting with each other.

Because ultimately, these people are friends first albeit friends who make each other sticky. As we delved into the scene, we realized that every couple has their own specific interests.

Some prefer to attend parties and participate in orgies like my wife and I, as we soon realized. Some are more "introverted" I know, it's a weird term in this situation , preferring to meet other couples through the lifestyle websites.

Some couples will do everything but sex soft swap. Other couples will have sex full swap , but only if everyone is in the same room. Many couples get into the lifestyle because the woman realizes she is bisexual, so they're looking for couples where the women can play with each other, but the men are only involved with their own partners, which may sound complicated or even frustrating for the man, but really is far from something to complain about.

And as we've mentioned before , there are "unicorns" -- single women who play with couples, so named because their rarity and allure are almost mythical.

Then there are the fake swingers. These couples tend to be younger. They attend all the big events, and if there's a stripper pole in the room, you can bet they'll be the first ones on it.

But when it comes down to the actual swinging, they're more into the exhibitionist aspect of the lifestyle and ultimately are not looking for sex with other couples.

Since each couple sets their own boundaries, when we're out meeting other swingers, the first thing we have to figure out is what they're into.

There are so many different levels of swinging that even people who've been in the lifestyle for decades can't keep track.

In case the three years of negotiations I mentioned didn't drive the point home, a lifestyle couple simply can't have any communication barriers.

You have to trust each other percent and be open with each other about everything. Imagine the level of trust you need to be able to tell your partner, "I'm really attracted to this person, and I'd like to have sex with them" As an example of that communication and trust, here's a story one couple we met early on shared with us:.

A massage parlor opened up near his work, and he had a sneaking suspicion it was one of those sketchy ones.

He told her about it, so she laughed and replied, "Yeah, you go and check it out. Let me know how that goes. It did, in fact, turn out to be one of those massage parlors where you don't get just a massage.

He opted for the "happy ending," but as he explained, it was by far the most mechanical, uncomfortable experience his penis had ever endured.

He likened it to being in the grip of a jackhammer. To me its a BIG turn on for me. It makes me harder than a rock. I wish she would masterbate and not know i was watching Just trying to figure out if its a turn on for women also.

Like x 1. It's a turn-on for me. I can't speak for other women, but I love watching my husband masturbate. Like x 5. Location: Florida. Very, very much.

Like x 3. Location: This Island Earth. I'm not a woman but I've been with enough to know that women often enjoy watching the same things that men enjoy watching as far as it applies to the opposite sex.

It's easy to assume that the sexes are so different that maybe women are only into holding hands, kissing in the rain and all that nutty stalker shit from John Cusack's early years.

Women can be just as nasty as men; I know that one for a fact. The issue with many couples is that one partner is a raging volcano of lust and the other one is basically dead in the pants.

My exwife used to enjoy watching me yank the crank and, by the time she was licking the semen off my chest, she was begging.

And I've had partners that really weren't into masturbation at all. Instead of wishing that she would masturbate so you could covertly observe way too much scheduling , have you considered coaxing her into doing such while you sit across from her in the bedroom?

Mutual masturbation can be very satisfying as you control the tempo and the visuals can't be beat. Last edited: Mar 9, Plan9 , Mar 9, Location: Stateside.

I like it. Not Helpful 7 Helpful I started becoming friends with this girl and when I came out to her she didn't take me seriously and thought I was joking.

I haven't talked to her since, should I still be friends with her? Give her another chance, come out again and tell her something like, "I'm being completely serious.

If she's rude to you about it, find another friend. Not Helpful 2 Helpful I want to tell this girl I'm bisexual, but I'm scared she might be homophobic and insult me.

How can I tell if she's not? Ask what she thinks about homosexuality. If she says something rude, then that's a sign she might insult you.

Not Helpful 15 Helpful My best friend is always looking at me, finding reasons to touch me, and telling me dirty jokes.

Are these signs? It could be, but it could also just be how she behaves with a BFF. If you're interested, try flirting with her more directly or intimately and see what happens.

Tell her that you like her as more than a friend if you want a relationship with her. Or you can just ask her if she would mind you kissing her.

Make sure not to ask in a joking way as she may not understand you are serious. Don't ask her around other people as that could be intimidating.

Not Helpful 8 Helpful I told my female friend who is bi that I was bi too, but she doesn't know that I have a crush on her.

What does that mean? This could go two different ways. She could have stopped touching you because she likes you and is trying to be subtle. On the other hand, she might be afraid that you will get a crush on her and it will ruin the friendship.

The only way to know for sure is to talk to her about your feelings. Not Helpful 1 Helpful There is this girl who looks at me times a day but she doesn't act like she's bisexual, does she like me?

It's hard to say. Maybe she looks at everybody, or maybe she just wants to be your friend. You could try making eye contact with her and smiling or giving her some other encouraging sign, or striking up a conversation.

If you talked to her, you could probably get a better idea of how she feels. Not Helpful 10 Helpful How can I go about kissing another woman that I am friends with, without risking offending her or losing her friendship?

Try to bond with her by watching preferably horror movies together. Try to be alone with her and attempt to get closer to her face or put your arm around her waist.

If she seems uncomfortabe, that is a sure sign she will not be interested in kissing you. Not Helpful 17 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Avoid easy labels. They often don't capture the full humanity of a person anyway. Helpful 2 Not Helpful 1. Ask yourself why it's your business to know.

Sexuality is a very personal thing. If you're interested in her romantically yourself, that's one thing.

If you're just being nosy, that's another. Helpful 4 Not Helpful 0. If it turns out she's not bisexual, don't take it personally. People are who they are.

It's not a personal affront to you. Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0. Submit a Tip All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published.

Related wikiHows. Co-authors: Updated: July 16, Categories: LGBT. Article Summary X To tell if another woman is bisexual, see if she notices women as well as men, and makes sexualized comments about them.

Deutsch: Erkennen ob eine andere Frau bisexuell ist. Nederlands: Erachter komen of een andere vrouw biseksueel is. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read , times.

Anonymous Jan 15, I think I will go for it and ask her about maybe going out with me sometime. Thanks a lot guys, and have a great day!

Anonymous Aug 19, To clear up the confusion and simply have a conversation to see where this is going, because she constantly maks me feel wanted.

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My Wife Likes Girls Video

How To Know If A Girl Likes You // #AskQueera

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